So, I just received my "Real Simple" magazine - you know, that magazine that is supposed to make my life oh so simple, and the focus of it is Lists. Really? I could have made a million dollars on my first blog post? They stole my idea!!! So here I am, almost one year out and well, I didn't do too well with the whole blog thing.
Why?
Well, I guess I couldn't figure why I wanted to do one, or I didn't give it the time it deserves (after an hour of trying to figure out my password, I was usually done). But I still like the idea of it. So now I have a new list - and that is a list of friends on facebook. I was worried at first that I would only have relatives accept me as friends (thank-you niece and Walker cousins), but I have been pleasantly surprised by the old and new friends I have acquired. And while it feels some what highschool-ish and silly - it is great to see how we have all grown up and can say 'remember when', or keep track of everyone's growing families without feeling overwhelmed by it all. I just have to post one thing once and everyone knows about it? How simple!
So my new list for 2009-
1. Make sure homework gets done*
2. Have everyone out of the house on time in the morning*
3. That we continue to keep it simple, real simple*
(*Add with minimal tears to the end of each sentence)
Oh, and that other list I mentioned in my first blog list so long ago, can we say Edward Cullen is now #1?
Happy Holidays to all!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
a mother's day
I have a statue in my garden. Every spring I put it in a garden that overlooks the kids play area. In the fall I bring it in and I put it on a shelf in my laundry room. These are 2 days that tug at my heart. It is a statue of a Buddhist monk holding a baby. They both look extremely peaceful. I don't place a lot of importance on material things, but this is something I hope to have for the rest of my life. I treasure it. (Note - if I was more experienced at this blogging thing, I would post a picture of my statue, but that would mean blogging regularly!!!). There is a whole Buddhist ceremony that it represents that basically say that when you lose a baby before it is born, its soul goes back to the earth to await being reborn.
I got the monk when Sophie was 1.5 yrs old. She has always had an interesting relationship with it. When she was young, she would gently touch the forehead of the monk, as if giving it a blessing. The last couple of years she makes canopies out of hosta leaves to keep them shaded. This spring she was eager to put it out on the first nice, snow free day. This past Saturday, the day before mother's day, the question finally came, the one I had been waiting basically 5 years for her to get around to asking.
"Mommy, why do we have this statue of the monk holding a baby?"
I have always wanted, at the right time, for my kids to know. And apparently for Sophie, that time was now. I took a deep breath and said : When you were 1, I had a baby in my tummy who was sick and couldn't live outside my tummy. I got this statue so that we would always remember that baby". I figured at 8, I could give the watered down version and details could come later, much later. As we sat in silence (as silent as it could be with the flood gate of tears that were flowing from me....) I could see Sophie and her old soul taking it all in. She asked if I knew if it was a boy or a girl (Yes, a girl) and if I had an S name picked out. I said yes, and for the first time ever I spoke aloud the name I had given my baby after the fact - Sasha. We sat in silence a while later and she was off to swing. I continued my gardening and looked over to see that Sophie had tied herself to the empty swing beside her - so she could swing with Sasha she said.
At this point I wondered what have I done? Later she went in to wash her hands and disappeared upstairs. I had told her that I had the ultrasound pictures of all my babies framed in my room. I went up and she was lying in her bed hugging her blankie. "I looked at her picture". All I could do was hug her and hold her and tell her how much I loved her. My dear sweet Sophie. I remember when the genetic counselor called to tell me the chromosome results. I was home with Sophie and I sat on the living room floor and cried. She walked over and started rubbing my back. And now today, here I was sharing my grief with her once again.
It hasn't come up again. I saw her telling her best friend later that same day, but she hasn't brought it up again. I love my girls.
I got the monk when Sophie was 1.5 yrs old. She has always had an interesting relationship with it. When she was young, she would gently touch the forehead of the monk, as if giving it a blessing. The last couple of years she makes canopies out of hosta leaves to keep them shaded. This spring she was eager to put it out on the first nice, snow free day. This past Saturday, the day before mother's day, the question finally came, the one I had been waiting basically 5 years for her to get around to asking.
"Mommy, why do we have this statue of the monk holding a baby?"
I have always wanted, at the right time, for my kids to know. And apparently for Sophie, that time was now. I took a deep breath and said : When you were 1, I had a baby in my tummy who was sick and couldn't live outside my tummy. I got this statue so that we would always remember that baby". I figured at 8, I could give the watered down version and details could come later, much later. As we sat in silence (as silent as it could be with the flood gate of tears that were flowing from me....) I could see Sophie and her old soul taking it all in. She asked if I knew if it was a boy or a girl (Yes, a girl) and if I had an S name picked out. I said yes, and for the first time ever I spoke aloud the name I had given my baby after the fact - Sasha. We sat in silence a while later and she was off to swing. I continued my gardening and looked over to see that Sophie had tied herself to the empty swing beside her - so she could swing with Sasha she said.
At this point I wondered what have I done? Later she went in to wash her hands and disappeared upstairs. I had told her that I had the ultrasound pictures of all my babies framed in my room. I went up and she was lying in her bed hugging her blankie. "I looked at her picture". All I could do was hug her and hold her and tell her how much I loved her. My dear sweet Sophie. I remember when the genetic counselor called to tell me the chromosome results. I was home with Sophie and I sat on the living room floor and cried. She walked over and started rubbing my back. And now today, here I was sharing my grief with her once again.
It hasn't come up again. I saw her telling her best friend later that same day, but she hasn't brought it up again. I love my girls.
Monday, March 24, 2008
happy endings
Who would have thought that a 3 month old puppy that had been in our home for only 2 weeks would cause such stress?! I suppose it was I that caused the stress and she was just along for the ride.
We are keeping her. We met the other family and they were lovely and would have given her a great home, but.......So we have bought an air purifier, a new vacuum, ordered million dollar shampoo for allergy sufferers and are praying for warm weather so we can open the windows and spend lots of time outside.
She is a good and smart little dog. She will be a great family pet. I'm glad we decided to keep her.
We are keeping her. We met the other family and they were lovely and would have given her a great home, but.......So we have bought an air purifier, a new vacuum, ordered million dollar shampoo for allergy sufferers and are praying for warm weather so we can open the windows and spend lots of time outside.
She is a good and smart little dog. She will be a great family pet. I'm glad we decided to keep her.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
addition and subtraction
So, we are planning on putting an addition on our house. As everyone else is screaming save your money, we are in a recession, we chose to ignore and sink alot of money into more space. More space to spread our junk. More space to live. More space to clean. It all started innocently enough. Our back door (which we use as our main entrance) is about 2x2 feet. Off of that landing are the stairs which children plummet down (honestly, I've witnessed it), the small 1/2 bath and the stairs to the kitchen, which children have plummeted both down and up. After watching Sophie do a summersault once she reached the bottom of the steps, I knew we needed a mudroom. And really that was all I wanted - just more space to get in the door and put our stuff. Why not expand the kitchen while we are at it? I said innocently once more to Eric. At this point we were off and flying - reallly if you are going to all the work, you might as well go up and create an entire master suite.......so there we are. Plans are made in Adobe and we are seriously going to put an addition on our house.
Sophie is excellent at addition in school. She routinely scores well on her timed math test - for addition. Subtraction - not so much. I mean, who really does want to take things away? Human nature makes this an uncomfortable act. Apparently if she doesn't score 90% or above at the 6 minute mark, she will have to go to a special math class. She taught herself multiplication. She is a whizz at fractions. She scored very well on her standardized testing in math. Yet, she can't figure out 6-4 in 6 minutes.
The concept of taking away is hard for everyone. Let alone an almost 8 year old. I think we have to give the puppy away. Eric's allergies are horrible. He has spent the last 2 weeks trying to live with it, but can't. I think I have found her a new home, where she will be just as happy. But Sophie is devastated. She really bonded with this dog. And we are taking it away. Not my finest parenting moment. I am starting a savings account for the therapy now. I know in time she will be okay. She gave me a sign to believe this - "Mommy if we give Sadie away, can we get a webkinz?". Yes, I will let her get a new addition to her collection.
Sophie is excellent at addition in school. She routinely scores well on her timed math test - for addition. Subtraction - not so much. I mean, who really does want to take things away? Human nature makes this an uncomfortable act. Apparently if she doesn't score 90% or above at the 6 minute mark, she will have to go to a special math class. She taught herself multiplication. She is a whizz at fractions. She scored very well on her standardized testing in math. Yet, she can't figure out 6-4 in 6 minutes.
The concept of taking away is hard for everyone. Let alone an almost 8 year old. I think we have to give the puppy away. Eric's allergies are horrible. He has spent the last 2 weeks trying to live with it, but can't. I think I have found her a new home, where she will be just as happy. But Sophie is devastated. She really bonded with this dog. And we are taking it away. Not my finest parenting moment. I am starting a savings account for the therapy now. I know in time she will be okay. She gave me a sign to believe this - "Mommy if we give Sadie away, can we get a webkinz?". Yes, I will let her get a new addition to her collection.
Monday, March 10, 2008
note to self
Note to self: One night stands can turn into 18 years, a house, 2 kids.
Note to self: Renting is easier than owning.
Note to self: 2 kids are not just as easy as one.
Note to self: Bad idea to get a 3 months old puppy 26 days after putting 13 yr old dog down.
Note to self: Bad idea to get said puppy in middle of raging snow storm and have to potty train said puppy in 3 feet of snow.
If only we could have the vision and made these notes before they actually happen. Well, the first 3 notes I'm okay with. Things have turned out pretty good in those areas, even if I still have my what was I thinking moments. I'm okay with it and wouldn't trade a minute. The last 2 - well I'm not at my happy place with them yet. I'm sure in a few months (hopefully weeks) the routine will be down and I won't have that hazy feeling you have after bringing 'the new baby'. That is seriously how I feel. The last time I had a puppy (thirteen years ago!) - well I've forgotten it all. Appparently getting a puppy is like giving birth - you forget the bad stuff so that you will do it again. This too shall pass.....
Another note to self:Blog more regularly. That way I won't forget how to log on and waste all my laptop battery power trying to remember my gmail address and password.
Oh the lessons we learn in life......
Note to self: Renting is easier than owning.
Note to self: 2 kids are not just as easy as one.
Note to self: Bad idea to get a 3 months old puppy 26 days after putting 13 yr old dog down.
Note to self: Bad idea to get said puppy in middle of raging snow storm and have to potty train said puppy in 3 feet of snow.
If only we could have the vision and made these notes before they actually happen. Well, the first 3 notes I'm okay with. Things have turned out pretty good in those areas, even if I still have my what was I thinking moments. I'm okay with it and wouldn't trade a minute. The last 2 - well I'm not at my happy place with them yet. I'm sure in a few months (hopefully weeks) the routine will be down and I won't have that hazy feeling you have after bringing 'the new baby'. That is seriously how I feel. The last time I had a puppy (thirteen years ago!) - well I've forgotten it all. Appparently getting a puppy is like giving birth - you forget the bad stuff so that you will do it again. This too shall pass.....
Another note to self:Blog more regularly. That way I won't forget how to log on and waste all my laptop battery power trying to remember my gmail address and password.
Oh the lessons we learn in life......
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Lists
Lists. We all make them. When my husband, Eric calls frantic about all the work he has to do, I tell him to make a list. And do one thing at a time. I make lists at work too. Usually to avoid the work I am writing on my list. And somestimes I cheat and put down things I have done so that I can cross them off immediately to make it look like I accomplished something. Or I add things I know I absolutely positively will do, like 7. Stop and pick up milk on the way home.
We make lists of names for babies when we are pregnant. Lists of things 'to do' before the baby gets here. Grocery lists - that are made based on the Sunday coupons and then both list and coupons are left at home come the actual grocery day. I particularly enjoy making the vacation list. You know, things that you need to remember to take on vacation. I am very good at those lists and very seldom forget anything on them.
One year, I think it was 2003, I made a "Thingss to do in 2003" list and taped it to the fridge. 2003 came and went, and the list was still there - nothing crossed out. So I figured we'd give it another shot. I hadn't been extravagant in the list - maybe 5 things. So I crossed out 2003, inserted 2004 and tried again. Well, again the year came and went. Trying desperately to be optimistic, I tried for one more year, 2005. Finally. The first thing on the list was crossed out - 1. E. - Get a vasectomy. Once this was accomplished I figured the rest of the list wasn't that important and took it down.
We have friends that have and A list and a B list. They each keep their own A and B list and the idea is this - if something happened to their spouse, the people on the list would be considered appropriate substitutes. The A List was actual real life people that they knew. The B list was famous people. Eric and I joke about this - "Oh, is she on your list?" or "You know he is on my list". My A list I won't share, but my B list. Well, just to make Sheri laugh, I will say #1 is Greg Keelor. But before you rush to judgement, search youtube for the original Lost together video, circa 1993. Although I would still take him today. Who else? Well, who could deny Brad Pitt or David Beckham on their list? I mean really?
So what is my point about lists. Like every pushing 40, full time working mother of 2, I make lists. In my mind, on paper, wherever. I would like to start crossing some of the things off my list. Of course, there is the perennial 1. exercise more (or at all), 2. Become more financially responsible, 3. Start a blog. Cross off one.
We make lists of names for babies when we are pregnant. Lists of things 'to do' before the baby gets here. Grocery lists - that are made based on the Sunday coupons and then both list and coupons are left at home come the actual grocery day. I particularly enjoy making the vacation list. You know, things that you need to remember to take on vacation. I am very good at those lists and very seldom forget anything on them.
One year, I think it was 2003, I made a "Thingss to do in 2003" list and taped it to the fridge. 2003 came and went, and the list was still there - nothing crossed out. So I figured we'd give it another shot. I hadn't been extravagant in the list - maybe 5 things. So I crossed out 2003, inserted 2004 and tried again. Well, again the year came and went. Trying desperately to be optimistic, I tried for one more year, 2005. Finally. The first thing on the list was crossed out - 1. E. - Get a vasectomy. Once this was accomplished I figured the rest of the list wasn't that important and took it down.
We have friends that have and A list and a B list. They each keep their own A and B list and the idea is this - if something happened to their spouse, the people on the list would be considered appropriate substitutes. The A List was actual real life people that they knew. The B list was famous people. Eric and I joke about this - "Oh, is she on your list?" or "You know he is on my list". My A list I won't share, but my B list. Well, just to make Sheri laugh, I will say #1 is Greg Keelor. But before you rush to judgement, search youtube for the original Lost together video, circa 1993. Although I would still take him today. Who else? Well, who could deny Brad Pitt or David Beckham on their list? I mean really?
So what is my point about lists. Like every pushing 40, full time working mother of 2, I make lists. In my mind, on paper, wherever. I would like to start crossing some of the things off my list. Of course, there is the perennial 1. exercise more (or at all), 2. Become more financially responsible, 3. Start a blog. Cross off one.
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